Last night I was tired. I wasn't a very pleasant mother as I made my rounds tucking everyone in. When I walked into Ethan's room, I looked out his window and noticed his bike laying on the grass. We have left bikes out before and have been fortunate enough to find them there in the morning. Well, last night I told Ethan, "Go get your bike and put it behind the fence." And his reply was, "No, I don't want to get dirty." (He had taken his bath already) I asked him several times and warned him that it would probably get stolen. He just got his bike for Christmas, he hasn't had it very long. He still would not move his bike. After talking to my husband, I decided to go ahead and "hide" it myself so that he would think it got stolen.
So this morning I said something about his bike being gone. His reply was, "Well I still have my scooter." He has no idea that his bike was not really stolen. But I was so mad at his reaction. Maybe by the time school is out it will have sunk in a little more and hopefully he will be sad.
Also last night the boys all had piles of laundry to put away. David and Jacob always shove their clothes in their dressers without re-arranging stuff. It results in the drawers not being able to even close. It looks awful. Their dressers are trashed. I told them I was going to take them away and they could just put their clothes on the floor since that is where they always end up.
How in the world to I teach my kids to take care of things?!?!
7 comments:
Lara, someone told this to me once. Go into their rooms with a great big garbage bag. Take EVERYTHING out. They have to earn one thing back at a time. Another idea I heard is they can only keep a certain # of things, the rest goes to DI or another child in need. Every couple of months, I do this with Conner. I want him to have a few things that he loves, instead of a million things he doesn't. Good luck!!
I struggle with the same problems. Once we took Cosmo's room away from him because he wouldn't take care of it. We cleaned it all out and made him sleep wherever he could find a quiet place (couch, basement, floor, etc.) for about a week. He's been much better about keeping it bearable since then, though certainly not perfect. BTW, one of your boys gave Kyle a huge stack of Pokemon and Bakugon cards the other day. I told him to plan on giving it back as soon as they want it back.
If you figure it out...let us ALL know!!
It is hard to raise kids when we have plenty and then some. That's one reason why I always loved living in Richfield because there wasn't as much affluence here as other places. It was hard even then to teach care and ownership. It is part of growing up. We teach responsibility. It isn't something they are born with. You have good boys. It will come in time. Raising kids is plain hard work and lots of frustration. That is why sometimes lately I feel like was I unconscious all those years and just now I am waking up. It is all a blur. And yes, there are days when I would like to be in your stage even on the worst days. There are still people in our family who still have no regard for possessions and leave them wherever they live.... :) Good luck, lots of patience and lots of prayers will get you through it. And they will learn it eventually. And if you take things away from them, when they are adults they may tell you they were deprived :)
Nothing irritates me more than my kids not respecting their things. It is so hard to get them to understand and I spoil my kids just like you--I wish I had the magic answer, I'll let you know if I figure it out.
Definitely, you are not alone on this one. My kids are the same way too. I am trying to give my kids less, but it is hard because I want to give to them. I also have become a little more strict on completing chores. It's a hard line between being a kid, and developing responsibility. I read a great book lately, you'd enjoy it. It is called the Parenting Breakthrough by Merilee Browne Boyack. It is an LDS book.
Were you at my house? I know how you feel and they are kids and don't realize the value of something until they are older. Hang in there, you are a great Mom and they are just being kids.
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