Being Blue and Other Thoughts

I took a personality test this week and turns out I am blue.  I read a little about it here and I think they described me pretty well, the good and the bad.  Obviously it is not a perfect description, like it says I may be prone to feeling guilty.  I haven't ever really thought of myself as guilt ridden or the kind of person that lets guilt get in the way, until last week.  


My husband is traveling to London again.  It just so happens that he is going to be in London for a long time, like a week.  He has sufficient frequent flier miles to get me there, the motel would be paid for, and I absolutely love London.  It makes perfect sense for me to go with him.  And so I am!  But then I start to feel guilty.  I am still going to London, but I start to wonder if I should just take off on trips like I do.  I know it is not easy on my kids or the people who have to take care of them.  At the same time, it is so good for my marriage.  Being away from each other that long is so hard and I know it doesn't happen all the time, but the excitement of the planning and meeting up in a new land is so wonderful and gives us both something to look forward to.  My little excursions have kept our marriage good despite the travel that goes on during the year.  And that is good for the kids, right?  I hope it is.  I hope I am not damaging my children.  I guess I do feel guilt.  And the past couple of days I am feeling guilty about not being a good mom.


On to the next random thought.  


We just finished up the football season.  It has taken quite the toll on us this year having 2 separate teams.  I fought with Kirk just over a year ago about even signing up the kids because I worried about over scheduling.  When David begged us, and was practically in tears, we agreed to let him sign up last year.  Jake also wanted to play, so they did and we had a wonderful experience.  So good in fact, I had no hesitation is signing them up this year.  Two different teams is harder though.  Although they all had positive experiences and want to do it again, I sometimes wonder about the over scheduling.  With different teams, we had different practice schedules and game times and that is what made life hard.  But what if your kids really want to play?  Do you sacrifice your family life for a couple of months?  I don't know.  It was just fine when we only had 1 team, so if I told the boys they couldn't play, I feel like they would be punished for all being boys and so close in age.  Honestly, I am sure we will be doing football again, they love it too much and I not sure I should take away all the positive experiences they are having.  Ethan is on the fence a little and there might be some serious consideration and persuasion to pick up golf or another sport.  


To sum it all up, I guess I just worry about being a mom and wonder if I am doing it all wrong.  I know I am making mistakes and I know I am not perfect, I just hope all the imperfections don't have lasting effects on my boys.  They really are good and I want them to stay that way.